Men at Arms (Discworld)

By Terry Pratchett

Corporal Carrot has been promoted! He’s now in control of the hot recruits guarding Ankh-Morpork, Discworld’s maximum urban, from Barbarian Tribes, Miscellaneous Marauders, unlicensed Thieves, and such. It’s an immense activity, fairly for an followed dwarf. yet a bigger activity awaits. An historical record has simply published that Ankh-Morpork, governed for many years by means of Disorganized crime, has a mystery sovereign! And his identify is Carrot . . .

And so starts the main outstanding epic stumble upon of all time, or at the very least all afternoon, during which the destiny of a city—indeed of the universe itself!—depends on a tender man’s braveness, an historical sword’s magic, and a three-legged poodle’s bladder.

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You have been being very impolite, Sam. ’ ‘I was once attempting to not be. ’ ‘Lord Eorle is a really previous buddy. ’ ‘Is he? ’ ‘Well, I’ve identified him many years. I can’t stand the guy, really. yet you have been making him glance silly. ’ ‘He used to be making himself glance silly. i used to be in simple terms aiding. ’ ‘But I’ve usually heard you being … impolite approximately dwarfs and trolls. ’ ‘That’s diversified. I’ve acquired a correct. That fool wouldn’t understand a troll if it walked over him. ’ ‘Oh, he might be aware of if a troll walked over him,’ stated Carrot, helpfully. ‘Some of them weigh as a lot as—’ ‘What’s so very important, besides? ’ acknowledged woman Ramkin. ‘We’re … trying to find whoever killed Chubby,’ stated Vimes. girl Ramkin’s expression replaced immediately. ‘That’s diversified, of course,’ she stated. ‘People like that are meant to be publicly flogged. ’ Why did I say that? inspiration Vimes. might be simply because it’s actual. The … gonne … is going lacking, subsequent minute there’s a bit dwarf artificer thrown within the river with a bad draught the place his chest can be. They’re associated. Now all i must do is locate the hyperlinks … ‘Carrot, are you able to get back with me to Hammerhock’s? ’ ‘Yes, captain. Why? ’ ‘I are looking to see within that workshop. And this time I’ve obtained a dwarf with me. ’ greater than that, he additional, I’ve acquired Corporal Carrot. all people likes Corporal Carrot. Vimes listened whereas the dialog droned on in dwarfish. Carrot looked to be profitable, however it used to be a close to factor. The extended family was once giving in now not due to cause, or in obedience to the legislation, yet simply because … good … since it was once Carrot who used to be asking. ultimately, the corporal regarded up. He was once sitting on a dwarf stool, so his knees virtually framed his head. ‘You need to comprehend, you notice, dwarf’s workshop is essential. ’ ‘Right,’ stated Vimes. ‘I comprehend. ’ ‘And, er … you’re an even bigger. ’ ‘Sorry? ’ ‘A larger. higher than a dwarf. ’ ‘Ah. ’ ‘Er. the interior of a dwarf’s workshop is like … good, it’s just like the within his outfits, in case you recognize what I suggest. they are saying you could glance, if I’m with you. yet you mustn’t contact whatever. Er. They’re no longer more than pleased approximately this, captain. ’ A dwarf who used to be most likely Mrs Hammerhock produced a host of keys. ‘I’ve consistently bought on good with dwarfs,’ stated Vimes. ‘They’re now not satisfied, sir. Um. They don’t imagine we’ll do any strong. ’ ‘We’ll do our greatest! ’ ‘Um. I didn’t translate that effectively. Um. They don’t imagine we’re any stable. They don’t suggest to be offensive, sir. they simply don’t imagine we’ll be allowed to get wherever, sir. ’ ‘Ow! ’ ‘Sorry approximately that, captain,’ acknowledged Carrot, who used to be strolling like an inverted L. ‘After you. brain your head on the—’ ‘Ow! ’ ‘Perhaps it’d be top for those who sat down and I’ll go searching. ’ The workshop was once lengthy and, after all, low, with one other small door on the a ways finish. there has been a major workbench below a skylight. at the contrary wall was once a forge and a device rack. And a gap. a piece of plaster had fallen away a couple of toes above the floor, and cracks radiated clear of the shattered brickwork beneath. Vimes pinched the bridge of his nostril. He hadn’t discovered time to sleep this present day. That was once one other factor.

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